Thursday, July 2, 2009
July 2nd
I wish that I knew what to report. What I do know is that we can not predict when Robert will come home and we will take it day by day. Medications are still being adjusted and Robert is being well taken care of. We are trying to find a balance of being here and there. I know that we made the right decision to go there and yet is seems that in some ways we don't belong there. It is the timing that I struggle to make sense of. We were going to Hopkins for treatment on a Thursday and went into the Hospice Center on Fri. There is no explanation for any of this - so I don't know why I would expect to have any understanding of the progression of Robert's illness. I am not focused on this all of the time. If anything this experience has taught us that it is the quality of time that matters over everything else. The Hospice Center has a beautiful garden and fish pond and we are thankful for the beautiful setting. It is difficult not all being together all of the time - but we know that we have to make decisions that are best for all of us - even when they are difficult. Our focus must be on the moments together - regardless of the setting. The highlights of the day were - All of us laughing together, Robert kissing us and telling us that he loves us. These are the events that we must hold in our hearts and that will help us to stand strong in the moments of despair. As always we thank you all for support that keeps our spirits high.
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6 comments:
You both have such amazing strength and are true
inspirations. I am so glad to hear about the
wonderful moments you both had together with
the boys. It's those moments that you will
always be able to cherish. As always, we appreciate
the eloquence and sincerity of your blog entries.
Keep us posted on how we can help.
Love to all,
Lisa & Mike Patterson
Live...Laugh....Love. You got those nailed guys! Now...we can not express to you our sadness in your storm. To hear your moments of peace a midst a fish pond and garden and tender words of "love you's" are what we learn is most precious....time with loved ones.
We are watching your nightmare from a far and can pray for your peace and hope for miracles. Know that your courage and your compassion will carry you and you will find a way to love that perfect way for one another.
God bless you in the moments in these seconds of change and pain...we wish you strength...courage and the ability to feel the sunshine in this storm somehow to find a beautiful site and peaceful moment and stay there just a while longer...hold, touch and love...you have that magic way to love love love...that is your diagnosis!
May God bless you and keep you!
Angie, Chuck, Gabbi, Maddi McLean
Tammy,
It has been a long time since we've spoken and I am so sad to learn about everything that you and your husband and family have been going through. You are all in my prayers, I wish that there was something that I could do or say to make things better for you. In reading through your blog, I laughed, cried, and became frustrated with the pain with which you have suffered. Thank you for letting us know what is in your hearts. God Bless. Love, Lori (Brewer) and Allan Sheahen
Tammy,
Thank you for continuing to write. It is not the details but rather the knowledge that you and the boys are surviving. I can feel how hard it is for you. How to make sense of something that is senseless. We have no control over time except what we choose to make of it. We can choose our perceptions and our focus but not the facts of our reality. But by choosing to focus on the beauty and love of the facts we can change our reality in small but monumental ways. You are achieving the balance by describing the garden, the pond, the laughter, the kisses, and the love. Please know that we love you and think about Robert and the boys daily. Give Robert our love and continue to cherish those who love and need you.
Love,
Linda, Brandon, & Chad
Hi there Tammy!
I continue to be amazed at the strength and positive attitude you have in such difficult times. I admire you for your dedication and thank you for your posts. I am trying to use your words as an example of how to live life and appreciate all that it gives us.
I met your best friend, Christine, at our pool this past week! Small world, huh?
I will continue to keep you, Robert and your family in our thoughts and prayers.
Kim Solomon
You all are amazing! Robert- for his continued fight, courage and love of life! Tammy- for being such a dedicated soul mate to Robert and your ability to be so strong for your family and friends and to the Boys- for all the joy they bring to everyone with thier sweet ways and smiles and their ability to adapt to situations they might not chose to be in.
Your are all such an inspiration to so many and change our life daily. May we all give thanks for every moment, hug, smile and tear. Talk soon!
Love, Amy, Ed, Ray and Andie
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