This morning I sit here and try and mentally prepare myself for the funeral that will take place this afternoon. I know that here is really no possible way to do this and yet I as I always do- want it to be done well. Done well for Robert. The love of my life. The father that loved and took such good care of his boys. The son who was so attentive and loving to his parents and the brother who always enjoyed being with his brother and sister. The friend who was so loyal and considerate. A good guy.
I sit and listen to the music that we have listened to so many times and it now has a new meaning. The music has changed and it is still powerful. We will all hear the music again and find peace. I believe that Robert has found his peace and I know that he will help us to find peace through the lessons that he taught us.
We miss him deeply.
I wanted everyone to know that we will carry your energy with us today. For those who are not physically with us today- know that your thoughts and good wishes are being felt and we are thankful to have you in our lives. The memorial service will be a time to celebrate Robert and the "power of the people". Love to all.
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My Condition - Glioblastoma Multiforme (or GBM)
I was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM). This condition has four different grades (I - IV). My tumor is a grade IV GBM. This is the most aggressive GBM tumor. I have included a little section of The Essential Guide to BRAIN TUMORS below to describe the condition more completely.
Astrocytoma
An astrocytoma develops from star-shaped glial cells (astrocytes) that support nerve cells. These tumors can be located anywhere in the brain, but the most common location is in the frontal lobe. Astrocytomas are the most common primary CNS tumor.
The physician, usually the neurosurgeon or neurooncologist, will discuss the type and location of an astrocytoma. The pathologist will assign it a grade. Astrocytomas are generally classified as low or high grade. Low-grade astrocytomas (grades I and II) are slow growing. High-grade astrocytomas (grades III and IV) grow more quickly. The main tumor type is listed for each grade. There are additional tumor types in each of these grades.
The WHO classification divides astrocytomas into four grades:
- Grade I Pilocytic Astrocytoma
- Grade II Low-Grade Astrocytoma
- Grade III Anaplastic Astrocytoma
- Grade IV Glioblastoma Multiforme (or GBM)
Characteristics
The characteristics of an astrocytoma vary depending on the tumor’s grade and location. Most people are functioning normally when diagnosed with a low-grade astrocytoma. Symptoms tend to be subtle and may take one to two years to diagnose. This is because the brain can often adapt to a slow-growing tumor for a period of time. Highgrade tumors may present with changes that are sudden and dramatic.
Symptoms
- Headaches
- Seizures or convulsions
- Difficulty thinking or speaking
- Behavioral or cognitive changes (related to thinking, reasoning, and memory)
- Weakness or paralysis in one part or one side of the body
- Loss of balance
- Vision changes
- Nausea or vomiting
5 comments:
Tammy,
I hope that today you know we are all praying for your whole family and that you find the strength to get through it. Your blog post today was a beautiful tribute to Robert.
Tami,
You and your family have been on our minds. We have been keeping you in our prayers. You are a strong woman and you have tried to find meaning in this without being angry. Trey is right. It is nobody's fault.
Mary
Tammy,
I went to church this morning and prayed for you, the boys, and everyone who is grieving for Robert today. You are an inspiration and I am sure that Robert is so very proud and appreciative of you. Take care.
Tammy,
When I think about you and Robert the image that comes to mind is the music. The music of the Kindergarten slide shows to elicit tears. The Cds gone from sight in your home because Robert was the first on many blocks to go mp3 before most of us knew what mp3 was. You listening to James Blunt to cope with the pain of the diagnosis. Music is amazing in the way it can elicit specific memories and take you back in time. The music can help you grieve and keep Robert close to you at the same time. I think about you and the boys daily and pray for peace in your time of loss. Robert lives on your two beautiful boys. Share the music and keep the spirit of Robert alive through them. We are here for you whatever you need.
Linda, Brandon & Chad
Tammy.....I don't know if you remember me or not, but we worked together when you were student teaching at Mars Estates. I had lunch with Carolyn Wilhelm today and she told me about your husband Robert. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for what you have gone through and I will keep you and your boys in my prayers.
--Joyce (Goldberg) Powell
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