Dec. 31st

Today we will celebrate many things. I know that we should celebrate something everyday, but some days bring us moments that will be celebrated with heightened excitement. Robert's MRI results were good and that is our greatest reason for celebration today. Of course the messages from friends brings us happiness knowing that we are surrounded by good people. Thanks for crossing fingers and toes. As one friend stated, "... the positivity meter went off the charts for the ending of 2008." She shared the thought that - on New Years Eve - every person would take a moment to be filled with hope and re-newed energy for the upcoming year. May you find THAT energy. Love to All.

Dec. 30th

We found out this morning that Robert will have an MRI tomorrow and meet with the oncologist just after. The MRI had been scheduled for 1/5 and the oncology appointment on 1/7. The oncologist had to reschedule due to her obligations - not because of any medical concerns with Robert. Our last report was so positive and the news relieves us until the next MRI is complete. Once the next MRI is complete, we are left hoping and praying for another good report. I don't like having to ask for much, but I won't hesitate to ask for any prayers and good wishes for another good MRI report. Thank you and may we all begin this new year with peace in our hearts.

Dec. 29th

Hope everyone had a great Holiday. Our Holidays were great and the boys were so excited this year. Their excitement is contagious and makes the holidays richer. Celebrating multiple holidays presents interesting challenges and we are trying to teach the true meaning behind each holiday -(not just the gifts). Bryce's birthday is New Years Day and it seems that there is so much going on all at once. Bryce will be turning six and we can hardly believe it. Trey likes to tell us that HE is almost seven and we all just smile and giggle. Our boys keep us focused and we find laughter in their actions and/or comments every day. Hopefully your Holiday was and will be filled with peace and happiness. Thanks for checking in!

Dec. 19th

Really? I was just posting about Thanksgiving and now we are closer to Hanukkah & Christmas. We are doing well and are looking forward to the holidays ahead. Robert and I have each celebrated a birthday this month and no longer think much about the number, but give thanks for having had another year to celebrate. Although- I have been telling everyone that "29" is fabulous.
The boys are excited about the holidays and ask each night if this is the night that Santa will come. I love their enthusiasm and excitement. We cut down a tree and have decorated it. This year the REAL("green")tree made it into the basement- as last year we decorated a metal tree. They have both written Christmas list and are ready to deliver them to Santa at the mall.This might be the first year that they both sit with Santa. They have been good and I have a feeling that Santa will come here.
We feel that the boys have so many toys and that we are are so fortunate to have so many things. This year we will donate to a charity instead of giving them Hanukkah gifts.
I find myself reflecting a lot about the past year. The past year has been filled with emotions that have been intensified by the news of Robert's diagnosis. I will try and use those feelings to find a deeper appreciation for the day and all of the blessings that - 'that' day has to offer. To find peace in the fact that even through the toughest times we all stood together and we are stronger for it. Knowing other care is priceless. May your holidays be filled with peace and happiness.

Dec. 4th

Our trip was fantastic and we all had a good time. The house was beautiful and close to the beach. The boys had fun playing in the sand, collecting shells, and even walking in the water. I enjoyed long walks on the beach and Robert enjoyed the time away. It was great being with everyone and I kept thinking of the memories that our children will have of the time spent with their cousins.
These days I take more time to reflect on our lives. At Thanksgiving I realized this:

I am thankful for so many things. I am thankful for the little things. I am thankful for the big things. I am thankful for the past, I am thankful for the present, I am thankful for the things that are yet to come. I am thankful for the lessons learned through my experiences and I am thankful for the people who have helped to teach me.

The Little Things:
1. Sunshine coming through the window on a cold winter morning
2. A cozy blanket and a hot cup of tea - OK - and a sweet little treat
3. A good TV show to distract me from everything else
4. A movie to make us laugh
5. Finding the perfect gift
6. A clean house
7. A phone call, an e-mail, or a card that comes in the mail
8. Getting an extra hour of sleep in the morning
9. A good photograph
10. A good hair day

The Big Things:
1. Someone listening & hearing & caring
2. Someone sharing
3. People giving their time to help you. Giving of their time and expecting nothing in return. Giving back
4. Time with family and friends. Building memories
5. Hearing the children laugh
6. A hug or a kiss. Hearing the words - 'I love you'
7. Seeing excitement in someone else's eyes
8. Knowing that others care about you and your families well-being
9. Knowing that our children are happy and content in their lives
10. Finding fun in the world

There are people, places, food, events, and things that can bring us the feeling of happiness. But - the true meaning of happiness is finding peace within your own heart and mind. Knowing, feeling, and believing that you can find happiness. I am happy to be surrounded by so many people who wish happiness for us. We are happy to have you in our lives and to have the understanding of how much you have impacted our lives/happiness. We are thankful.

Nov. 25th

We have celebrated Thanksgiving with the Bruff side of the family and will fly to SC today to celebrate Thanksgiving with the Kinberg side of the family. We have so much to be thankful for and are happy to be celebrating. We will celebrate the time with family. We will celebrate the fact that we have friends who care and we will celebrate the realization that - love and support - from others is the most precious gift of all.

The boys are excited to fly and we had fun packing their backpacks for the plane. They are our motivation to live well. They keep us moving in a positive direction. They help us to see the excitement in life. They give us a perspective that is uncluttered, solid, and focused on the moment - something that is difficult for the adults. As we often become overwhelmed with the responsibilities and emotions of our lives.

We are learning and trying to take time to reflect and focus on the moment. Robert and I will remind each other with a look or words to slow down, stop, and take a minute to relax. Time together is good. We want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and may you find a moment of true happiness.

Nov. 17th

Everyone has a story. I meet people and hear of people with amazing stories. Some are sad and full of difficulties. They are hard to hear and yet there is something to be learned from it. People that we know or people that we don't - are doing it. They are pushing forward and fighting even in times of pain and fear. They are beating the odds and astounding the doctors. They are living in the moment and enjoying life.
Some stories are good in there content and full of hope. They are uplifting and inspirational. Stories that give me power to believe that good things can and will happen. There are people we know who do so much good, who care so deeply, and who are truly caring of others. They are selfless in their acts of kindness and expect nothing in return. These are the people who are the role models for all of us. I think often about how to give back and how to help others - it is something that we all need to find within ourselves. For now we are still trying to thank everyone for the ways that they have supported us. Please know that we are thankful.

Nov. 11th

Good news from the oncologist. The latest MRI demonstrated stability and some improvement. The doctor called Robert a 'super star' patient. We like to refer to him as the 'over-achieving' patient or our 'Super-hero." She expressed that past progress does not technically predict future progress - but it does in some respect - because: Many patients who struggle from the beginning - always struggle. For those that have responded well to treatment - there is no reason to believe that they will not continue to do well. Obviously- the doctor can not predict the future and that is why Robert will have MRI's every two months.
We will take one report at a time and hold on to the relief that we feel in the moment. We will focus on the current news and be thankful for it. We will continue holding on to the belief that life is full of 'good', 'bad', 'happiness', 'sorrow', 'expected' and 'unexpected' events and that all hold meaning. We thank you for your support and good wishes that keep us feeling strong physically and emotionally. Love is all around us.

Nov. 7th

It has almost been two months since Robert's last MRI and he will be going in for another MRI on Monday. We will get the results when we meet with the oncologist on Wed. Robert has been feeling well and working hard. We hope for more good news as we try to stay focused on all of the eventful/memorable incidences that fill our daily lives.

Oct. 29th

It is the end of Oct. and I 'm trying to remember where the month has gone. The days have passed quickly and I often struggle to remember what day it is. Fall seemed to last a few days and now if feels like winter.
The month may have passed quickly and yet there have been many positive moments The painting is complete and the changes in the appearance of the rooms in dramatic - and we all love it. Painting took place over four days and the work accomplished was remarkable. I am grateful for the support that was provided and know that I would never have been able to do that much work on my own. I was inspired and motivated to do more then I thought was possible. Thanks Dad and the Nancarrow-Timms family. Your dedication and hard work have made a difference in our home and in our hearts.
We have many goals to fulfill. There are the goals that fall under the logistical responsibilities and those that are the personal desires. We are working toward many goals and look forward to having fun along the way. I often try and remember the goals that have already been reached when overwhelmed by the goals still ahead of us. Thanks to everyone around us who reminds us to have fun.
Cute moment of the month: Bryce and Trey running in the rain - just to run. Running and screaming around the yard - literally soaking in the water. And- all of this just after having ice cream in the middle of the day. Why not?

Oct.19th

We are enjoying another great weekend and the changes that seem to surround us. The weather is changing- fall seems to have arrived, the leaves are tuning the vibrant and beautiful colors of fall, Robert has left for Florida and that is always a change in our routine, the walls in our home are about to change as I begin the painting process this week, change in hair color and styles, and the boys seem to change each and every day as they grow. This is why I decided to change the background colors on the blog. A new look - a new feeling. Changing cosmetic appearances will not really change the deeper emotions and the true feelings about life - but it does give us a renewed feeling of satisfaction, a new appreciation of the little changes that can bring us joy in the fact that things can change for the better. A realization that change does not always have a negative connotation. Change can inspire us to to do more and search for the learning that can come from finding the positive aspects of the change. Change can inspire us to feel better about ourselves and appreciate the people who surround us. The generosity of others who help us to create positive change is powerful and remarkable. Change can inspire us to appreciate the material things that we already have and recognize that we are not a product of the amount of things that we own. I guess my point is - I think that changes - whether - positive or negative - can teach us. Circumstances and people in our lives have changed us forever and we are grateful for the messages that we have received.

Oct. 10

Today has been a good day and we are looking ahead to a fun weekend. I was thinking how nice it is when we can take time out of our daily routines and spend time with a special person. How nice it is when we can plan to spend personal time with others and how nice it is that we have others around us to support us in our efforts to connect with each other. We appreciate the time to bond and spend time with the people we care about.
We hope that you have a great weekend and spend it with the people who care for you.
Thanks for caring for us and we are caring for you.

Oct. 2nd

It is Oct. and it is hard to imagine that almost one year has passed since Robert was diagnosed. In some respects it seems like just yesterday and yet it seems like we have traveled through a journey filled with a vast amount of emotions that have forced us to grow and change over time. So much has happened and so much has changed forever.
We have been busy and active and thankful for the ability to spend time having fun. We are thankful for the time with family, and the chance to enjoy the boys. We have spent time with friends, and just been ecstatic to be surrounded by them. We are thankful for the continued support and caring attitudes of others. Your contributions to our well-being are working and we are thriving on the understanding that others care and wish us the best. It is possible to 'feel' the love.
Here is a thought that I have been contemplating today- When times are difficult, we are often given the advice to - 'live day by day' or 'take one day at a time'.
Here is a thought - some days just stink - and we have to think that the next day will be better
and - making future plans and having something to look forward to helps us to realize that situations can improve over time and that we will have fun again.
The emotional comfort & stability that allows us to look forward and plan for the future demonstrates the hope that we have in our hearts.

Sept. 24th

We met with our oncologist a week ago today and we were ecstatic with the report. We knew going in that we were walking into a good report, but it is not until you talk with the doctor and see the MRI scans that you can believe the phenomenal results. The scans indicated a decrease in all spots/white matter seen on the brain. Obviously, I am not presenting the information in proper medical terms. The point is - stable is what is hoped for and any decrease is considered exceptional. Robert is the overachieving patient and is living his life as he has always done - with honesty, integrity, and a dedication & loyalty to the important people in his life. He has the ability to rationalize the lack of control that we ultimately have over many factors in our lives. He has the resolve to face each day with an attitude that 'what will be' - 'will be' and there is no point in worrying about it. We are so happy with the last results and try to hold on to the feeling of relief that has come with the pictures demonstrated on the last set of scans. Wishing everyone well...

Sept. 12th

Our days have been busy and we have managed to keep moving at an energetic level- until 8:00pm. By 8:00 - the boys are in bed and Robert and I are close to it. We went to Ocean City and had a great time. We left on Fri. and returned on Tue. Yes- Tuesday. I had told many people that we would return on Monday and truly believed that this was accurate. It wasn't until we were at the beach that we realized the reservation was made until Tuesday. I had made the reservations and had incorrectly written it on my calendar. Oh well. Robert took and extra day off of work, Bryce missed another day of school, and Trey & I gladly accepted an extra day at the beach.
Since returning- life has picked up the pace and does seem to be moving faster then is possible. Robert has returned to work, Bryce has returned to school, Trey has attended two days at preschool, and I have made two trips to Johns Hopkins - scheduled appointments. Robert had his eyes checked again at the Wilmer Eye Institute at Hopkins. He got another good report. His vision is stable and there were no indicators of pressure on the brain. He will return in another six months for an exam.
As we come up on the 11 month marker of the day that Robert was diagnosed with a brain tumor, we are thankful for the lesson learned, the recognition of love and support, and the understanding that we have been and are blessed with good fortune. This is not to say that we are thankful for the diagnosis, but we are thankful for the increased awareness of the good fortune that still exists in our lives. We have our family and we have love.
It is sometimes difficult to watch our children grow and change and become more independent. I find myself - having to remind myself - that their changing behaviors and attitudes indicate that they are growing and developing as they should be. The fact that they are succeeding in new environments without us, means that they have learned the lessons that we have taught them. The fact that they are growing and changing physically, means that they are healthy. The fact that we are watching them change over time, means that we have had valuable time with them to build memories. I am trying not to hold on to the past or think to far into the future and am trying to enjoy the present. May you all have a great day.

Sept. 2nd

We have received good news today regarding Robert's MRI scans. The oncologist reports that all scans look good. She noted that we couldn't have gotten a better report. We are thankful for the excellent report and for the friends and family that we get to share the news with. We are thankful for the doctors who are willing to listen to us, work with us, and communicate with us in a way that comforts us. We recognize that they are caring for Robert and the family as well. The attention paid to all of us, both physically and emotionally, keeps us strong and ready to focus our attention where it needs to be directed- on living and living well. Thanks.

Sept. 1st

It was great having a long weekend and having Bryce and Robert home on Mon. We had a relaxing weekend and are gearing up for the rest of the week. Which brings me to my reason for posting. Tomorrow, Robert will be having another MRI. As always I will ask anyone who is reading this to please send your best wishes forward and/or pray for a good report. We will not be meeting with our oncologist and will post the results as soon as we can. Hope you all had a great weekend and wishing you the best. Thanks so much.

Aug 26th

We apologize for the delay in posting. I could make many excuses for the absence of postings, but I will spare you all of the details of that. As my intelligent husband reminded me- I can post brief messages to let you know that we are well and post again later with all of the deep/emotional thoughts that I typically include. Today's posting will be a combination of both.

As usual, life passes quickly and many changes occur before we have often processed the facts. Bryce started kindergarten on Monday and it has been both exciting and emotional. Robert and I placed him on the bus on the first day of school and watched him ride away without us to protect and care for him. We had to have trust in ourselves- that we had taught him the skills to be independent and successful in school. We had to trust in him- that he would behave appropriately and find his place in school. We had to trust in the school- that they would take care of him, nature him, and help him to learn. Luckily, Bryce has been excited to go and is eager to exert his independence.

I write about this because the home/school relationship is similar to the home/hospital/relationship that Robert and I have with Hopkins. We have had to spend a lot of time in the hospital, learn the 'new' rules and regulations of treating Robert's medical condition and learn to live with the 'new' normal that has impacted our family dynamic & family relationships. We have had to place our trust in the medical professionals- that they will nature and care for us. We are incredibly thankful to be working with the most caring and brilliant people at Hopkins. We ask that you continue to wish for Robert's good health and ultimately a cure. Thanks.

Aug. 12th

It has been some time since our last post but we have a good reason for that. Robert and I went to Rhode Island and we have not had much new information to share beyond that. Robert and I had a good time on our trip and it felt like we had been away forever. That is the longest time that we have been away from the boys. The boys had a great time without us and it was like they were on their own vacation. I tell everyone that they didn't miss us and that made it so much easier to be away. They were certainly happy to see us when we returned, but really didn't mind that we had been away for five days by ourselves. Knowing that the boys were being cared for and entertained made it so much easier for us to relax and enjoy our time away. However, I have told our neighbors and my sister & brother-in-law that- they have spoiled the boys- because they had so much fun with them- we (Robert and I) are now- just boring.

Despite obstacles we were able to go, relax, and have a good time. Some obstacles included the fact that Robert was diagnosed with an ear infection and I was diagnosed with strep on the morning of our flight out. We both got medications and packed them along with the countless number of other drugs we had already packed and headed for the airport. Other then Robert experiencing some pain on the first flight, we felt well during most of the trip. Another obstacle- My luggage did not arrive in RI. I'm not sure who was more upset. Robert kept checking with the front desk at the hotel and arranged to have them call us when it arrived- I think that he was scared that I was not going to relax until I had my clothes with me. Robert said that he wished that it was his luggage that had been routed to another airport and I agreed. Seriously, Robert and I just tried to accept it as another glitch to laugh about and kept moving as we were determined to have a good time. The luggage arrived around 3:30 the next day and I was back to being indecisive about what to wear. We had great weather beside the one rain storm that we got drenched in and really felt that the sunsets were there for our own personal viewing.

Honestly - we feel that the trip couldn't have come at a better time. We had just received good news from the doctors, the boys were content to be without us, and we were ready to take the time. We feel fortunate to be physically able to travel and to have others support us in being ready to travel. This trip would not have been possible without the support of some very caring and thoughtful people who obviously have kind hearts. We did not take the opportunity and the time away for granted and hope that we used the time to refresh ourselves and be stronger for it. Take care and may you all find peace in your lives.

July 30th

We are spending the days enjoying being with the boys and soaking in the funny things that they do and say. We are observing the new behaviors - both the heartwarming and teeth clinching behaviors - and are able to laugh and smile at the fact that they are all signs of healthy and developmental appropriate children. We are happy to be able to find and focus on the amazement of how quickly they grow, learn, and mature. Their innocent perspectives, curious questions, and unfiltered responses keep us laughing.

Robert is feeling well physically and emotionally. We are content in the moment and of course we continue to wish for continued contentment. Robert and I are taking a trip from Thur. to Tue. to Rhode Island. We are looking forward to the time to relax and be together. The boys are excited to 'vacation' without us and we are thankful that they are so comfortable to stay without us. Although it is sometimes difficult to plan to be away from the boys - both emotionally and logistically - we recognize that we all need time to regroup, reconnect, and refresh ourselves. We are thankful for everyone who helps us to function each and every day. We are not working alone here and we are thankful for the support.

July 21st

Your prayers and positive thoughts are working. We meet with our oncologist today and we got an excellent report. She is beginning to realize what most of us already know- Robert is a superhero. I wish that I could articulate to you what the doctor explained to us, but the emotions and my lack of medical knowledge make it impossible to repeat the amount of detailed information that she shared with us. Suffice it to say- she explained that all pictures on the MRI scans showed improvement. She told us that she would have been happy if the scans had remained the same and yet she saw improvement across all scans. She stated that this is rare and so she was very pleased. We are grateful for this report and grateful for all of the people who share in our happiness. Thank you for giving your time to reach out to us through your thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. We take this positive report and the joy that comes with it to sleep with us tonight as we dream of future happiness together. Sweet Dreams!

July 11th

I know that I just posted two days ago and it was long winded- but- I had to post again tonight for two reasons. First- I have so many thoughts scrambling in my head and writing often helps me to organize and clarify them for myself. Secondly- I often have this sense of stress come over me when certain incidences happen, because it reminds me of the amazing support that have surrounding us. The support is not the stressful part- that is indeed the most wonderful gift. The stress is the fact that we can never seem to truly reach out to and express our gratitude quickly and articulately enough to impress upon others the positive impact that they have had on our lives.

OK- Here I go. I will try to remain brief. Tonight we watched episode 1 & 3 of the new TV series- Hopkins. Robert found it interesting from a scientific perspective and was able to watch it with little emotional impact. I viewed it more from an emotional perspective and found it difficult to watch, at least initially. Maybe because it brought back the raw emotion of our experiences at Hopkins, maybe because we got the 'undesirable' diagnosis while we watched others get a 'positive' diagnosis, or maybe because it was a reminder that we are still fighting. As my intelligent husband reminded me- he is doing well. He feels good and definitely looks good too.

One thing was and is always clear- We will be forever grateful to so many and will be spending time trying to share our feelings. Tonight, as we watched the show, we were reminded of the dedicated doctors, nurses, social workers, and staff who dedicate themselves to their jobs. We feel fortunate to be working with the 'best' of the 'best'. They make sacrifices every day to help families like us. They have taken care of Robert and me as well. I ponder how it is possible to thank someone for tirelessly taking care of others physically & emotionally (before/during/after diagnosis) and continuing to research to keep improving treatments. They are the most disciplined and selfless people and we are thankful that they are intelligent enough, empathetic enough, and dedicated enough to do such good in the world. I hope that a 'thank you' can never come to late as we now feel that we are at a point in time when we can try and express our sentiments.

A neurosurgeon said it well on the show tonight- He commented that he believes those patients who have a large support network do better then those that do not. So if I haven't articulated it well enough- let me say it like this- THANK YOU! Robert will go for his next MRI scan on Wed. 7/16. We will meet with the doctor to review the results on Mon 7/21. Since I have gotten better at asking- I will ask for your prayers and good wishes for a good report.

July 9th

We are back from GA and really enjoyed our time with everyone. It felt good to get away, spend time with family, and to do what was so typical and normal before we embarked on the medical journey that we have been facing. We were able to appreciate the fact that we were able to go. We were able to appreciate the fact that we were doing what had become routine - before the diagnosis. We were relaxing and spending time with each other without feeling the constant pressures of life.

The flight was a unique experience for each of us. Bryce was fearful and adamant that he was not getting on the plane. Trey was excited and truly viewing it with amazement. Robert and I were anxious to get everyone on the plane and keep them occupied and content. In the end- all went extremely well and it was an enjoyable experience for everyone. Let's just say- the flight attendant saw that Bryce was upset and sent the boys and I directly to the cockpit. The boys got to sit in the pilots and co-pilot's seats and were given extra special attention that put them at ease and had us all very excited. Once I realized that I did not have the camera - Robert did - The pilot got on the microphone and said, "Robert Kinberg please bring the camera to the cockpit." Imagine this- Robert has two car seats on the plane, some carry on bags, and has to move against the traffic of passengers still boarding to get to us in the cockpit. He did it and I have pictures that capture the excitement in the cockpit. These are the memories that we will treasure always.

I will draw upon this experience often as it is in some way an analogy for life. There are things that we are all fearful of and yet we can overcome them. Bryce trusted in us to be there for him (affirm his fear), to teach him (Robert talked him through what was happening), and protect him - and was able to enjoy the flight and even look forward to doing it again. Sometimes the inexperience and the fear of the unknown can be overwhelming and fearful. However, having people around us - to affirm that our feelings and fears are valid, to guide us, and to support us allows us to get through the dark and scary times knowing that we will be more experienced and stronger because of it. The willingness of strangers to reach out and help confirms that we need to extend ourselves/accept help and learn from others. The flight attendant and pilots taking time out to help the boys is equivalent to the number of strangers that have reached out to us and have given us reason to smile. And even if flying is not our favorite thing to do or our first choice of transportation - doing it and understanding that the experience opens us up to seeing the big beautiful world and the many places and cultures that we would not have seen if we had not overcome the fear - is worth it and is the power that keeps us flying again. This diagnosis is not what we would have chosen - but we must believe that this experience and all of the emotions that are encompassed in it- will open our hearts and eyes to feel and see things in ways that are unique and powerful. I believe that if we do not give in to the stress of the immediate situation and keep our eyes on the big picture, we will be stronger and better for it. Once the boys were relaxed and in the air, I had a huge sense of relief for them and told them that the world is now theirs and they can explore it.

June 29th

Robert has completed his sixth and final round of chemo since completing his his initial six weeks of radiation and chemo after surgery. He was extremely tired and a bit nauseated with this cycle. He has been trying to get some extra rest and regain some energy. We will have the next MRI scan approximately one month after this round of treatment. The date has not been determined.

Summer is in full swing and it seems that everyone is on vacation or getting ready for a vacation. We will be leaving for Georgia on Tuesday and are looking forward to being away and spending time with everyone there. This has been a time of reflection for me and I am so thankful for the way that Robert has tolerated treatments and the positive reports that we have received after each MRI. I continue to try and take each day by day. Sometimes it seems overwhelming and we have to make a conscious effort to remind ourselves that relatively speaking - we are doing very well.

We have each other and we have so much to be thankful for. We are surrounded by so many people who care for us and continue to send us good wishes and for that we are forever grateful.

June 19th

I sit here and am unsure about what to post because this week has been good and there is no new medical news to report. As I wrote in the last post, Robert will take his sixth and final round of chemo treatments beginning this Sunday. Funny story- Each month it has been a process to get the chemo and anti-nausea medications. The oncologist office has to fax the order to the pharmacy and the pharmacy has to schedule the delivery with us... This process tends to take 2-3 days. The medications come via FedEx and must be signed for by an adult in the house. Of course- this morning the FedEx man comes while I am in the shower. Bryce came in and yelled, "He's here." I sent Bryce to yell through the window that I was coming and ask him not to leave. Let's just say- he waited and had a serious look on his face as I thanked him over and over again. I'm shocked that he didn't either laugh or run from me as I opened the door with a soaked head and no make-up on. I told Robert that I have a new relationship with the FedEx guy.
We hope that everyone has a great weekend.

June 13th

Time keeps passing, usually faster then we can believe. Bryce will go to Sport Camp next week, Trey is in his 'Big Boy' bed and room, and Robert will be taking another round of chemo a week from Sunday. Round number six since he completed the initial phase of radiation and chemo combination. Some days it feels like only yesterday Robert and I were in the ER and then I remember that it has been almost 8 months. We are thankful to be in a good place now and ready to keep moving forward with our lives. Robert is feeling well and is ready to move off of the chemo treatments.

Earlier this month I got to meet a GBM survivor of 17 years. Obviously, this was an emotional and inspirational encounter and it gives us all hope for our futures. I sat in the room with many other newly diagnosed patients and family members and was happy to report that we were 7 months out and doing well. The educational meetings always begins with quick introductions. People typically tell if they are the patient or caregiver. I explained that my husband was diagnosed with a GBM in Oct. and that I am there 'alone' because he is working. I further have explain that I do not consider myself his caregiver, as he is often the one taking care of us. My heart went out to everyone there as I have felt the pain that they are now experiencing. We pray for all patients, their families, and most importantly for a cure. Happy Father's Day to all of the Dads.

June 7th

We are attempting to beat the heat wave that has hit today and is likely to last for five days. Despite the heat, t-ball went on as scheduled and the day will proceed with more time spent inside then outside. Robert is feeling well and is running errands and doing chores around the house. There are moments when this seems 'normal' and then the realization hits that we have gone through phases when Robert was not physically able to do these tasks. We are reminded that our sense of what is normal has been in frequent transition. We become so accustomed to our daily lives that we often take for granted the beauty in our ability to perform the mundane chores of our daily lives. We are thankful that we are physically capable to complete these tasks. Each and every day will not be filled with the overly exciting activities and events, but that does not mean that we can't value the time. We continue to wish for 'just boring." Thanks for all of your good wishes.

June 2nd

We have experienced the kind spirits of so many people and continue to be so grateful for everything. There are times when things seem effortless and times when things seem insurmountable. We are thankful for the days that flow effortlessly and are learning to work through the moments that seem insurmountable. Robert and I feel blessed for the prayers that give us strength. We are so blessed and have so much to be grateful for. There are so many people suffering and fighting - with the strength that we get from you - we pray for those that are in difficult times. Our hearts ache for those that are struggling. We have to keep believing that everything happens for a reason - even if we can not understand it now.

Robert is feeling well this week despite his 5th round of chemo. Tomorrow I will hug my children - kiss my husband - and take a moment to recognize all of the wonderful family, friends, and supporters that we have in our lives.

May 26th

This weekend was wonderful. We had fun with family and friends and were busier then we have been in months. The weekend brought much joy and happiness to our family. I wish there was a way to share the variety of feelings and emotions that we experienced this weekend. We laughed with friends, we cried with friends, we celebrated with friends, and- at times just played without even thinking about the stresses we are under. We must continue to thank those who show unconditional generosity to our family. It is always very touching to receive love and support from those that we reach out too and overwhelming when we receive support from those that only heard of us from others. Robert said it best today, "Life is good." We are grateful for the blessing that we receive including the people who demonstrate compassion and love.

May 19th

Today we got the good news that we were praying for. The MRI results indicate that the spot IS decreasing in size. The oncologist told us that the results from last month-to this month showed the greatest decrease. She was very pleased with the scans and feels comfortable going back to the 2 month MRI schedule. Robert will begin another round of chemo on Sunday and will have only one more left the following month. I will post more details later, but we are all very tired. Robert went to work early and we spent about 6 hours at the hospital. They boys are in bed and I am just enjoying this feeling of relief and gratitude.

May 17th

We have been busy with the daily tasks that consume all of our time. We are still functioning on a delayed reaction schedule, but are thankful for the ability to do the things that we do. Life often seems overwhelming here and then we remember that life seemed overwhelming before -(perhaps for different reasons, but overwhelming just the same). I often tell people that our schedule may not seem busy to others, but is is busier then we have been in six months and we often find ourselves exhausted at the end of the day. I am not writing this to complain but to explain that our delayed reactions are not intentional. We are happy to be exhausted if it is because we are engaged and interacting in 'life'.
Robert will have another MRI scan on Monday 5/19 and we will meet with the oncologist to review the results on the same day. We were excited about the results from the last scan and continue to pray for more good news. Please pray for the lesion that has been found to continue to decrease and heal and for a positive report. As always thanks for the incredible amount of support that you provide.

May 7th

I had to post to share an incident that happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I - last minute- decided to take the boys out for lunch and to run to the store for t-ball snacks. Once we got to the Quizno's I ordered and went to the register to pay. Once in front of the cashier, I realized that I had left my wallet at home. I laughed and explained what I had done and kindly asked if he could hold the order- while I went home to get my wallet. The lady in line behind me jumped in and offered me $20.00 and asked me not to take the boys home. Initially I declined and she explained that she had a child and that she would like to give me the money and have me mail her $20.00 later. I accepted, thanked her, and promised to return the money quickly. She shared with me that recently her car had broken down and someone helped her and her son and she was happy to help someone else. I got it - the 'Pay it Back Theory' She said, "It's already working" - when she returned to the register to order a sandwich to go - the cashier did not charge her because he had seen her kind gesture to me. I promised to tell everyone this story in the hopes that one day we too- can do something nice for someone else. Robert and I have been so grateful for all of the support that we have received and hope that everyone understands the gratitude that we have. We can only hope that we will be able to help and support others that way that we have been helped.

May 5th

We made it to the finish line at the Race for Hope in Washington D.C. It was the perfect day. The sun was shining - in spite of the weather reports that predicted rain all week, the team members showed up, the team members wore their team t-shirts proudly, and everyone crossed the finish line. Some team members finished faster then others, but everyone supported each other and we traveled together in spirit. That is what friendship is all about - traveling together through good times and bad and supporting each other during good times and bad. The turn-out was great and the amount of people there was exhilarating. They had something like 247 teams and 6-8 thousand participants on race day. On race day they amount of money raised was at 2.5 million and the donations are still coming in. Knowing that researchers will have funding to continue to search for a cure gives us hope that one will be found quickly. It was an emotional and inspirational day that will always be embedded in our minds. We thank everyone who supported us in our efforts to raise money for a cure. We thank everyone who continues to support us with prayers. Thanks!

April 27th

Robert did receive a call from the oncologists assistant, who shared that the last MRI results looked excellent. We were happy to hear the words. Robert had to visit with his internist on Fri. because he thought that he might have 'pink eye' The doctor believes that it was some allergy and has prescribed some eye drops and medications. We are still waiting to speak with the oncologist to make sure that he can safely take these prescriptions. Medications that Robert would have taken without much thought, now have to be approved and taken with caution.
Robert will start his fourth round of chemo tonight and we both get a bit anxious during this time. We hope for the maximum benefit- with the least amount of side effects. Last week seemed so busy with the ball games and Robert's work meeting, and we both were really tired. We just hope to be able to function efficiently and enjoy the week days.
Thanks for the prayers - they are working well.

April 21st

We are happy to report that everyone is feeling well and that baseball & softball games are in full swing. Robert is now the assistant t-ball coach and Bryce was very excited about Robert's new position. Trey and I sit and observe the action from the sidelines. Trey enjoys watching and eating the entire time we are there.
Tonight - Robert and I went to the kindergarten orientation at Bryce's elem. school. We couldn't have been happier and more amused to be there. It wasn't just the tour of the school or the presentations, but more the act of looking ahead at where he will be going everyday and thinking about how much he will learn, grow, and develop. Going together was important and special in ways that we might not have focused on before. The point- I guess- we are not rushing time along but we are enjoying being together and looking ahead to the future.

April 14th

Medically speaking we have no new information to report. Robert has been feeling well and we have been busy with everyday chores and activities. Robert's next MRI is scheduled for April 23rd and we pray that the spot being monitored is healing. We will not be meeting with the doctors on this day and will wait to receive a report by phone or e-mail. We will post as soon as we have any information.

As I talk with others I am constantly being reminded that there are so many strong and inspirational people surrounding us. If we were not going through the journey that we are traveling, we would not necessarily hear or have heard the journeys that others have taken. So many people have suffered or are suffering, and are not only functioning- but living well. They are reaching out and supporting others. We are so thankful to those who reach out, share, and ultimately encourage us to keep fighting. I encourage others to reach out to someone in need. I encourage others to reach out and get to know someone that you may not be familiar with. Listen to others- they probably have a story to inspire you. So many people, so many stories, so much to learn.

April 9th

Robert completed another round of chemo last week and is feeling well. With the doctors permission, he had his first softball practice last week. They play once a week and they will play double headers. He was sore from practice and knows that it will take some time before he is back to his old strength and speed. If I recall correctly- he was always sore after every practice.

The days are filled with the daily activities that everyone is familiar with and the evenings seem to pass so quickly. We are thankful for the moments that capture our attention and allow us to drift into them without remembering the stress and burden of the medical situation that we find ourselves in. The moments that are so precious, funny, and captivating that it is as if we are actually living for that moment. The funny things that the boys do and say, the way that they love each other, and the the way that they teach each other. These are the moments that propel us to keep moving. The thought that so many people are thinking of us, praying for us, and reaching out to us keeps our spirits high and allows us to continue to stay connected to others with whom we may not have even talked with in a long time. The people who we have never even met, who have reached out, remind us that all people are connected and special. Robert continues to inspire people and demonstrate his strength in so many ways. We are thankful for the ways in which so many people have inspired us. We thank you for your generosity and we appreciate the continued support.

March 29th

Our week has gone well. Robert worked each day since his appointment on the 24th and even had some energy to spare. I honestly don't know how he does it- going to work each day and working longer days to make up for the time missed on Monday. He has some inner strength that keeps him energized throughout the week. Robert begins his third round of chemo this Sunday and we know that this means he will most certainly be more fatigued. We look forward to resting this weekend in preparation of the week ahead.

Now that the weather is getting warmer we will have to start walking to build up the strength to walk the 5k Race for Hope in D.C. on May 4th. We have been so grateful for the money raised by all of the teams that are planning to attend. We have never been involved in anything like this and are excited about the opportunity to participate with so many families that are experiencing the same things that we are AND to be doing it while surrounded by our friends. I expect that it will be an inspirational and emotional day. Thanks to everyone for supporting our efforts to raise money for treatments and the search for a cure.
www.braintumorsociety.org

March 24th

In general, today's meeting with the oncologist resulted in a positive report [This is a Tammy K. dictation!]. The MRI showed no change from the last one done on Feb. 28th. This is a good indicator that the spot being monitored is not a tumor, but rather irritation from radiation. The doctor would liked to have seen more improvement in this MRI, but is still satisfied with the results so far. She will continue to monitor the situation over the next three months to make sure that the spot is not growing and begins to heal.

Thanks for checking in on our progress.

March 22nd

We are excited that sping is offically here and looking forward to the warmer weather coming soon. I said the other day that is felt better, just to say that it was sping, even if the weather was still cold. As we sat and ate breakfast this morning I noticed that the sky was a beautiful shade of blue and the grass looked greener. When we went outside after breakfast, there were snowflakes falling. No- I'm not crazy, we all saw them. Either the grass is greener or just knowing that it is spring gives us the sense that everything will be in bloom soon. Regardless- I am not wishing time move faster, but trying to take in the beauty of the day.

We are excited that the Easter Bunny will be coming tonight and ready to have him hide the baskets in the house. Last year the boys were concerned that the Eater Bunny was entering the house and Robert wrote the Bunny a note- asking him to leave the baskets on the front porch. The Easter Bunny complied and I guess that they now trust him enough to come into the house. We will of course leave out our Easter Bunny Bait and keep our fingers crossed that he leaves us baskets of treats.

Robert got a haircut today. I know! His hair had grown and needed to be trimmed. He went to the Barber Shop. He looks great and is feeling well. We return to Hopkins on Mon. for another MRI and appointment with the oncologist. We hope for a positive report and will post the results to you as well.

Happy Easter to everyone and as always thanks for your support over the changing seasons.

March 19th

We apologize that we have not posted anything in weeks. The last several weeks have been chaotic and we have all been doing our best to get through each day with some energy left in the evening. We have some positive news to report. Robert completed his second round of chemo and felt well during the week of treatment and the week after. He was tired, but did not feel sick. This was a great relief as they had increased the dose for the second round and for the months ahead. He worked and did not even feel as fatigued as he had last month. He is working longer days this week to make up for the long appointment day that we will have on Mon 3/24. Robert will have another MRI and we will meet with our oncologist to review the results on the same day.

As always we are so thankful for the love and support that we receive from the people closest to us, the people that surround us, and from people that we have never even met. Your prayers and support help us to find peace.

Feb. 28th

Good news! Robert had is MRI this morning and the doctors office has called to report that the MRI scan looks the same as the one in Jan. We have not spoken with the doctor, but the person on the phone stated that the doctor said that there was no change and that she was happy with that. We will accept this report as good news and be grateful for the report. Each and every night we should all focus on the things that we are grateful for. Tonight we are grateful for everyone who is reading this. You all touch our lives and we thank you.

Feb. 27th

I spend time trying to figure out what information to post and typically have no idea what we will write about, until I sit down in front of the computer. There are obviously so many emotions that we experience throughout this journey. Today - we will focus on the good news that we have to share. The good news is that Robert did feel stronger and more alert just as he entered his third week after the chemo treatment. It was a dramatic difference as he woke up over the weekend with much more 'spunk.' He was able to enjoy time with the boys and was much more energetic then he has been in a while. We all tried to take advantage of Robert's new burst of energy and get out of the house.
Robert will go for another MRI tomorrow and we look forward to getting a positive report from the doctor. We will not meet with her this month, but we will be in contact with her sometime soon regarding the result of the scan. We will post with an update as soon as we can. Thanks to all.

Feb.20th

It is snowing outside - Bryce is ready to play, Trey is napping, and I am ready to curl up with a blanket and watch the snow falling. While Bryce is ready to jump in and play in the snow, I am content to sit inside and enjoy the snow fall without ever touching it. It strikes me that everyone tends to appreciate things in their own unique way. We all can appreciate the same things for different reasons. We each look at the same things with different perspectives and therefore evoke different feelings. For Bryce the snow means fun sledding, snowball battles, and eating the snow. For me it means beauty- until I have to shovel the driveway, clean off the car, and drive on the roads. And yet- If I force myself to seek a different perspective, I recognize that I can enjoy the moment much more if I view the snow as the children will. I will enjoy watching them laugh& play and remember that some of my most fondest memories as a child were playing in the snow (sledding, building snowmen, snowmobiling, etc.) The point is --- there is always a different perspective and we must attempt to find the perspective that brings us joy in the moment. We know that if we never had the snow- we would miss it.
Robert had to drive home in the snow as he is still working a full 40 hour week. He is beginning to feel more energized heading into his third week behind treatment. We stayed up to watch most of American Idol. I'm not kidding. While we joke about his early bed time I find myself falling asleep while watching television- sometimes while sitting up in the chair. We continue to be thankful for the incredible amount of support that has been showered upon us. Thanks to all.

Feb. 15th

There is no new medical news to report - You know what they say, 'No news is good news." The only health related information is that Robert continues to be extremely tired during the week following his chemo treatment. There are some evenings that he goes to bed before or with the boys.
We are all learning to adjust to the changes in our routines and daily lives. I had a thought today- Robert's treatment schedule and the effects of the treatments are like the developmental stages that the boys encounter as they grow and the behaviors that change as they reach these different stages. Robert and I and the boys are still learning what the effects will be and how to handle them, as he progresses through his treatment schedule. This is a journey that we have never experienced before and we are trying to figure out how to manage them. This is not unlike the boys advancing through different developmental stages and exhibiting new behaviors that challenge us as parents. We are still trying to figure out how to manage them. We are blessed with wonderful children that teach us about- pushing the limits (testing people and objects until the understand how they operate), perseverance (never giving up until the mastered a new toy or game) , using their imaginations to create their own adventures, and resilience (the ability to bounce back from disappointment).
We as adults have a lot to learn from our children.
When we feel like we are being pushed to the limit- view it as a learning experience. When we feel drained emotionally and/or physically- know that you can persevere with the hope that it will get better. We can persevere with the belief that everything happens for a reason and that life will be good again. Being resilient means never taking our lives for granted. Even during the sad moments recognize that there are so many things to be grateful for.

Feb. 10th

Yesterday- Robert and I took Bryce to Johns Hopkins for the Children's Orientation. This was a day for children/grandchildren of patients to tour the hospital and to learn more about the hospital/treatments. We are recognizing that the 'unknown' is fearful and that knowledge is power. We all struggle with the fear of the unknown and the inability to control our world. This gave Bryce an opportunity to learn more about cancer/treatments/and the hospital in a safe and nurturing environment.
This program was created to demonstrate, to the children, where their family members are going and to show them what & how medicine/treatments are being provided. They had an oncologist speak in general terms about good cells-bad cells and then toured the hospital. Of course the initial talk was a bit difficult for Bryce to comprehend and he verbally noted that he was bored. However, after we left the hospital and later in the day he asked very relevant and articulate questions about those 'cells.' We will continue to try and talk with the boys in an honest and appropriate manner. After the group meeting, Bryce got to go on a tour of the hospital with the other children. Each child was chaperoned by a staff member and we were given a pager to inform us if Bryce was upset or scared. He got to make 'fake' chemotherapy and a radiation pillow with his hand print in it. Apparently he got to work the pharmacy 'train' and did such a good job that he got an 'honorary pharmacist' sticker. After lunch, he made a pillow and shared it with the entire group of families and staff. He stood on the chair, held up his pillow, and was embarrassed to speak. Our social worker helped him through it and Robert and I couldn't have been prouder. He made a new friends that he is still talking about including; social worker, doctors, nurses, and peers.
In our meetings yesterday, the topic of cancer forcing 'lives' to become more public was addressed and the challenges that surround this new reality. For me being 'public' about our situation and emotions has been the easy part. We want as many people to know in the hopes that- the more people who know- the more people who will project positive thoughts and prayers. Our theory also extends in the opposite direction- we like to say- "don't tell anyone who doesn't like us, we don't want the negative energy." The challenging part has been finding ways to thank everyone for the amazing amounts of support that we have received and asking others to help in ways that we never needed before. We hope that through this blog we can continue to keep everyone informed and continue to articulate to you the gratitude that we have in our hearts.

Feb. 7th

Robert takes his last dose of chemo tonight and looks forward to 23 days off. He did well and worked through the week. We did hear back from the oncologist and the doctors have decided to conduct monthly MRI's for the next 3-6 months a least- to monitor the white spot that was seen on the MRI in Jan. They all believe that this spot is most likely irritation and not tumor, but want to be proactive and cautious. We appreciate their attention to detail and will do what is necessary.
Someone shared this and I wanted to pass it along. I thought that this was so inspirational and relevant:
We are always talking about HOPE! Wikipedia defines: "Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope implies a certain amount of perseverance — i.e., believing that a positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary." It goes on to say that Hope is spiritual gift from God - divinely inspired from faith rather than just positive thinking and optimism.
We continue to hold on to hope. We thank everyone for the support that you have provided that allows us to maintain hope.

Feb. 4th

Robert woke up feeling well and made it to work on time today. We were hopeful that he would tolerate the increased amounts of chemo well and so far so good. He was very tired this evening and has already gone to bed. The boys used to fuss that we got to stay up later then they did and now they can no longer argue this with us, as Robert is usually going to bed right behind them. We will post again soon. Thanks for checking in.

January 31st

After countless numbers of phone calls- Robert has received all of his medications and will in fact begin his second round of chemo on Sunday evening. Even with the increased dosage the doctors anticipate that he will tolerate it well since he did not have any problems during the first round. He will take anti-nausea medication each night prior to the chemo pill. The hope is that the anti-nausea pill will cause fatigue and he will be able to sleep through the night without suffering from any side-effects of the chemo. Robert plans to maintain his work schedule. Those of you who know Robert well- understand that this is not a surprise. As usual- I continue to remind him to listen to his body and do what he can do.
Robert said it well on Tuesday evening (the day after our MRI) "Yesterday was a good day, and today was a good day." We hold wonderful memories of the past and we move forward with hope, but we live in the day. We take each and every day and find gratitude for many things.
I heard this statement on a television show and it jumped at me and I have been thinking of it often, "Life is not when or then, it's now." We can and have spent time thinking that 'when' we get something or 'when' something happens, 'then' we will be happy or We are wishing and waiting for something to happen at a certain point in time. Experience has taught us that it is important and more powerful to live in the moment. Do what you always wanted to do. Recognize and value the power in today. and --- love and appreciate the people in our lives.
Love to all.

January 28th

We have done the 1st MRI since the first round of treatment and we are happy to report good news. The doctor compared today's MRI with one that was completed in Nov. and it appears to show that surgery and treatments have/are working. There are still some 'white' shadows around the area where the tumor had been and they tell us that this is either residual tumor or irritation from the radiation treatments. The hole where the tumor was, has filled in with spinal fluid and this is apparently what they want to see. There was a new white spot that was showing, but the doctor was not concerned. She believes that this is irritation and not a tumor based on other medical factors. She was very pleased with the scans and felt that this was a good report. Robert will continue to have scans every two months forever.
Robert continues to amaze the doctors with his speedy and otherwise uneventful recovery. He has not suffered from many side-effects often associated with brain tumors/surgery and the medications. His physical exams demonstrate that his strength has returned to acceptable levels, his neurological functions are good, and he looks and feels good. I think that the medical staff is beginning to realize what we already knew- Robert really is a super hero!
Ok- enough medical talk. We want to thank everyone for your continued support and good wishes. We find strength in the actions, words, and prayers of our supporters. We are grateful for the daily moments of joy and happiness. We are trying to stay focused on the things that are within our control and recognize that the rest is in the hands of a power higher and stronger then us. We believe in the power of positive thinking and maintaining hope. Being surrounded by such a huge support network helps us to maintain strength even when it feels like we are struggling to complete the simplest daily task. Robert and I are celebrating todays report and continue to pray for continued for success. Thanks.

January 26th

So my four week hiatus from radiation and chemotherapy is over. It is now time to start things up again. We are going to the hospital on Monday to meet with the doctor. She will go over my MRI & blood work that will be completed earlier that morning. I then will begin the six month chemo process of five days on and twenty-three days off.

I returned to work two weeks ago. I am working eight hour days. I feel pretty good during the day and get tired when it is time to go home. I am going to bed around 8:30 - 10:00. I feel like I have more energy each day.

Tammy & the kids are doing really well. They are extremely supportive of me. I know that I can be challenging at times, but they just roll with the punches. Who could ask for anything more!

Thanks for all your support and we will give an update early next week to let you know how things are going.

January 16th

Robert is working and the boys and I are busy with our routine of school, running errands, and playing. Robert enjoyed his first day back on the job and the boys and I were happy to hear it. We celebrated Robert's return to work on Monday with a decorated table setting, cookies, art work and and card games in the evening. The boys are right back into their old habit of asking where Daddy is each morning and I remind them that he is at work. We feel so blessed for the fact that Robert is able to return to work and continue to pray for continued successes.

January 13th

Robert has continued to get stronger and feel better every day. Tomorrow is a big day as he will return to work. The thought of returning to work is both exciting and daunting. The possibility of returning to works demonstrates the positive results of surgery, treatments, and Robert's strength. Robert has tolerated treatment well and we continue to have hope that he will continue to feel well during the next round of chemo.
The boys were not happy to hear the news of Robert returning to work as they like to have their daddy close. On the other hand- I think that they may have been nervous when Robert first began staying home-
Each morning as I would greet them, one if not both boys would ask- "Where's Daddy?"
Just prior to Robert's surgery, Bryce had a serious conversation with Trey as he was questioning us about Robert - asking "Trey- Do you want toys?" (Trey said, "yes") and then Bryce stated, "Then daddy has to go to work."
We are grateful for the blessings that we have and will continue to receive. Bryce and Trey keep us grounded and bring us joy each and every day. We are grateful for moments of laughter, time with family, fun with friends, the physical and emotional nourishment that our community has provided.

January 3rd

Radiation is over (actually it was over December 28th)! Chemotherapy is on hold, as planned, until the end of this month.

I will have an MRI, blood work and a meeting with my oncologist on January 28th. At this point, we will begin the monthly chemotherapy schedule - on for five days, off for twenty-three days (a twenty-eight day cycle for six months). The dosage of the chemotherapy drug will be doubled during this period over the radiation period.

I am scheduled to return to work on January 14th. I will see how it goes. I will hopefully have enough energy to stay for an entire day (each day).

I have felt good, with a little fatigue. Tammy insists that I am very stubborn, even more than usual - maybe a good thing ;).

We wish all of you a healthy and happy New Year.